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Deep Pencil - the musings of Morgan Bell

 
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it did it really make a sound? If i post a blog and nobody reads it was there really any point? You have entered the random thinking space of Morgan Bell . . . These are my musings . . . things about my life written off the top of my head . . . written in an informal disjointed style almost completely devoid of punctuation, this is where i flesh out writing ideas, discuss my life, and generally be self indulgent . . . it is also the bargain bin for articles which do not fit in with the film or arts themes of my other blogs . . . so have a wander around my mind, have a laugh, have a think, be nice, and humour me!

do not name your child: Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

July 26th 2008 08:29
some parents in New Zealand named their daughter "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii"

the child, now 9 years old, became the victim of abuse, ridicule, mocking, and teasing due to the absurdly long given name . . . a judge placed the child under the guardianship of the court and ordered the parents to change the name, likening the name to assigning the child a handicap and ruling it unacceptable

concern has also been voiced over the following New Zealand childrens names:

Violence
Midnight Chardonnay
Number 16 Bus Shelter
Benson and Hedges (a set of twins)
Fish and Chips (a set of twins)
Yeah Detroit
Stallion
Twisty Poi
Keenan Got Lucy
Sex Fruit




in New Zealand the law does not allow names to be registered that would cause offence to a reasonable person, that are more than 100 characters or that include titles, military ranks, punctuation or numerals . . . if parents propose these names an official usually enters into negotiations with the parents to help them see sense

an aquaintance of mine named her children O'Hara and D'Laney . . . yes they are the first names . . . dont ask me what the obsession with apostrophes was

i think some parents think that names should be distinctive and unusual . . . but in the end they arent to ones who have to live with it!







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Comments
37 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by RubySoho

July 26th 2008 08:35
I swear to God you are hacking into my computer.

I have actually been trying to write the following article all day but have been distracted:

Forget Citizenship Tests: It's Potential Parents Who Should Be Quizzed

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 26th 2008 08:40
BAHAHAhahaha
yep i am a professional computer hacker, i now have your abortion schedule and the address of your whorehouse! hahaha

was your article really going to list those exact same names????

spooky . . .

no wonder people think im your lapdog . . . or perhaps you are mine?

Comment by RubySoho

July 26th 2008 08:54
All of them except Fish and Chips and the last three. I've only written the first parargraph so far.

Well it's only a matter of time before someone accuses one of us of creating the other...

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 26th 2008 09:20
well if i start writing about politics in the middle east we will know that YOU are the puppetmaster . . .

BUT

if you start writing about trannys and an eccentric pet cat it will be clear that the puppetmaster is ME!


Comment by Lola Tahlulah

July 26th 2008 11:20
Hmmmm...there is something about that name. I don't know, it kinda has a nice ring to it

Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I was teased about my name. Especially because I was always known as Lola Tahlulah. My first name on my birth certificate is Lola-Tahlulah, and my parents insisted that I be referred to by the full name. Not just Lola. Not L.T. Kids just didn't get it. However, I totally embrace it now and love that it is different!

But, yeah. The whole Hula in Hawaii thing is a bit much. Parents need to think things like that through.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 26th 2008 11:50
hi Lola Tahlulah,
haha what a coincidence!
i actually think Tahlulah (or Talula) is a very pretty name . . . its more having a six word sentence as a name thats a bit cruel!
imagine if my name was "Morgan Catches A Taxi Cab In Sydney" Bell hahaha
thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment!

Comment by Sara Dobson

July 26th 2008 12:35
Ha ha very funny. But kinda sad. I might be the wrong side of 30 but I clearly remember my school days and how cruel children are to each other. Why would any parent set them up for ridicule with a stupid name?

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 26th 2008 12:51
hi Sara,
yep kids are still cruel, i think thats a fact that remains true over time!
i think its important for kids to be able to spell and pronounce their own names, and the name choice to not be something that is problematic with form-filling later in life . . . maybe something that commands a bit of respect and doesnt make it look like your parents were on drugs when they named you? haha

Comment by Mountain Fog

July 26th 2008 15:54
I think it's fine, providing one thing, the court gets to rename the parents, such as, Mr. Itchy Balls Fart Face, and Mrs. or Mizzzz Slutty Bitch Floppy Flaps!

I think, after being pulled over in traffic by the cops, having to show their passport and also having to sign their names etc, they would not last very long before begging the court to change their names back.

Then again, they could be chemically self-lobotomized moronic bogans and think their new names are great.

Moon Unit Zappa changed her name when old enough, Dweezil kept his!

cheers

fog farty bottoms

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 26th 2008 16:08
good evening Mr Foggles
have you been out partying all night?
hmmm floppy flaps . . . yeah i think once you had to sign that name a few times you might reconsider tormenting your children with absurd names!

Comment by Mountain Fog

July 26th 2008 16:22
NOOOoooOOO!!!

I never go partying anymore, no one invites me....(sob)

Besides, I couldn't stand the drunken drooling, both mental and physical!!

Maybe, one day, I will visit Taswegia, if I can afford body guards to keep the feral bogan element at bay, and we can go to lunch, or dinner.

That would be fun!

cheers

fog

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 26th 2008 16:33
hey Fog,
yeah we could hang out with Bob Brown and pet some tazzy devils (if theyre still alive by the time you get here! haha)

Comment by Summer Minor

July 26th 2008 22:26
When I first heard this I had to laugh because I know a family that lives in Hawaii. Their daughters are Tauna and Talula. Luckily both girls love their names and haven't been picked on for them.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 27th 2008 05:25
hi Summer,
the names Tauna and Talula are really quite beautiful, i think it was more having an extra-long sentence as a name which made it ridiculous . . . perhaps the little girl in NZ could shorten her name and keep the good bit?

Comment by postmoderncritic

July 27th 2008 09:45
LOL, thanks for the laugh... I can't believe someone would name their kids 'Fish' and 'Chips'... I mean, maybe Pomegranate would be a nice name (as a last name), but a popular fast food?

The most unusually-named woman I met was called Lhasa (like the Tibetan capital). She was Caucasian.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 27th 2008 10:22
hi epiphanie,
oh i know, its not the best of taste is it! haha
they sound more like the names of pets!
actually you probably have one of the most unusual names i know, but i guess at least you got to choose one you like!

Comment by postmoderncritic

July 27th 2008 11:07
Haha, thanks for the compliment! I haven't met another Epiphanie yet, let alone an 'Epiphanie Bloom'.
I was thinking of changing it 'Epiphanie Fields' at the time, I thought that was also very lyrical, but I was used to having my last name begin with B.

Comment by Ahmed

July 27th 2008 14:20
I'm thinking of having twins and calling them Morgan and Freeman.

I can't for the life of me figure out why those two names float with each other so well -_-

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 27th 2008 14:32
hi Ahmed,
i think you should have twins called Techy and Bytes
that might earn you a place in some nerd hall of fame!

i wonder if theres many twins called Jack and Jill these days?

Comment by RubySoho

July 27th 2008 14:43
Okay I have been doing more research for my article about bizarre baby name s and have uncovered the following in America:

Unique
Special
Gouda
Veal
Famous
Legend

And the Chinese are currently going a little nuts calling their kids:

Olympic Games,
Hope For Sichuan
Defend China

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 27th 2008 14:48
hi Ruby,
hmmmmmm Veal?
seems in bad taste! *ba-boom tish*
Olympic Games?
now theres some patriotism for you!

Comment by Mr Nice Guy

July 28th 2008 01:04
Some people just don't seem to get it - really!

A colleague's wife - many years ago had harboured a desire to name their first child Heidi come hell or high water.

I was privvy to the ensuring debate between them when her betrothed tried to explain the ridicule which would ensue if she persisted with the folly - given their surname - Hole.

True story.

As a postscript to the tale - the couple had a boy (and no they didn't name him "Man".

Cheers

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 28th 2008 05:44
hi MNG,
haha what a great real life example!
Heidi Hole . . . i can just imagine the taunts that would have come with that!
i knew a Theresa Green at highschool - no joke!
i think it really does pay to consider the surname when selecting the given name!

Comment by Bryn

July 28th 2008 06:45
I'm ashamed to be a Kiwi right now.
This and losing the Bledislow Cup.
How stupid are some parents?
I remember reading somewhere years ago parents having nine or so boys and naming them all William. Fucking ridiculous, pardon my French.
There are basic "rules" when naming a child.
~ be wary of what the initials will spell ie don't name your kid Francis Aaron Thomas)
~ check that when saying the first and last name out loud it doesn't sound like a phrase (ie Paige Turner or Joe King)
~ if you have trouble pronouncing the name, don't use it
~ don't spell a common name in an unusual way, the child will tire of having to spell it out
~ if you do decide on an unusual name, then give the child a more conventional middle name so they have a choice in later life
Those are a few tips ...

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 28th 2008 07:56
hi Bryn,
aww poor kiwis!
im certain if you went to the Birth Registry office of any country they would have quite a few examples of people being stupid!
i like your "basic rules", they make perfect sense . . . if only more parents took the time to put themselves in their childrens shoes!
Paige Turner? hahahaha

Comment by postmoderncritic

July 28th 2008 08:02
Ruby - Gouda as in the cheese? That doesn't even sound nice.

There's a Londoner (girl) named Opal, and while I like the connotations, I don't think it sounds nice.

Comment by Raoul Duke

July 28th 2008 08:07
I remember hearing of a girl called Sufficient.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 28th 2008 09:58
hi epiphanie,
haha well it could be worse, she could be called Cracker Barrel or Blue Vein


hi Raoul,
Sufficient?
thats like being called Tolerable! haha
thanks for the comment!

Comment by postmoderncritic

July 28th 2008 11:56
How about Adequate?

Actually Brie is quite a nice name for a girl, I think. Lol.

I just looked up a list of cheeses on Wikipedia, and have some suggestions for anyone who is interested in this growing trend:

Gudbrandsdalsost
Seferihisar
Snofrisk
Ovchepolsko

...and finally, why call your daughter Tiffany when you can call her Tihany, after the Hungarian camembert cheese?

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 28th 2008 12:04
hey epiphanie,
wow these chese names have really captured your imagination!
you are going to have to have a hell of alot of children to name one after every cheese!

Comment by postmoderncritic

July 28th 2008 12:08
If it cracked me up in the pronounciation it went on the list, hee hee. As for Tihany, that's not bad, though I like Tijuana (like the Mexico town) better.

Comment by Cheryl J

July 28th 2008 12:44
I did hear once of a family that named their twins Sydney and Pearl Harbor. D'oh!

Oh God and I just remembered when I worked for a certain unnamed Government agency I came across a family who had named their kids Thor and Conan. We had to check to make sure they weren't referring to their pets. I always wondered what would happen if they had a girl what they named her?

I still think the pollie Richard Face has possibly two of the cruelest parents on Earth.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 28th 2008 13:07
hi Cheryl,
Thor and Conan? BAHAHAhahaha
bastards!
theres a whole spate of little kids running around now with place names like Montana, Dakota, and Paris etc

Comment by Cheryl J

July 28th 2008 13:25
Gawd I'm glad I wasn't named after where I was conceived or I would be Harden Murrumburrah! Try saying that with a mouth full of marbles They are twin towns like Albury Wadonga which could make for an interesting boys name hahaha

Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang

July 29th 2008 06:06

Comment by Jayne Kearney

August 5th 2008 01:27
I always jump in on the names discussion with this real life example - people we knew whose last name was Burns named their daughter Summer!

Comment by Morgan Bell

August 5th 2008 06:53
hi Cheryl,
Albury and Wodonga would be great names for a couple of poodles!


hi Peter Yang,
i think theres a lesson in this for us all . . .


hi Jayne,
haha Summer Burns . . . reminds me of a dragqueen i know called Summer Salt!

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