Morgan BellFog starts war of the online divas: GAME ON!
May 8th 2008 12:14
it has come to my attention that Fog has been ridiculing me and my boyfriend corey delaney, he is trying to make it sound like a general statement but i KNOW it is aimed at us! *stamps foot*
now while corey and i were quietly trolling around orble minding our own business (as i always claim to be doing) we noticed a blog about trolling (CLICKHERE for Damo's "How To Be A Happy Troll") and we of course wanted to stop by and get some tips and look what we found in the comments by one Mountain Fog:
Fog, how dare you insult my white trash culture!
is it a crime to loiter in a car park spray painting vehicles? hmmmm well is it?
wheres the tolerance buddy?
corey is deeply upset! he almost had to call into big brother sick today!
we tried to set a fire in the front yard to make ourselves feel better . . . we tried huffing some glue and eating a jar of nutella . . . we tried pushing each other around in a shopping trolley but nothing NOTHING will erase the pain of seeing our values mocked . . . mocked on the internet of all places . . . i mean really *shakes head*
corey was having a hard enough time being gay but now you have outed him as a bogan? how much more marginalised do you want him to be? poor lil sod . . .
ANYWAY if you read this post, which is clearly aimed at you, dont you dare come over here and retaliate with any more of your darned "opinions" . . . this may look like a public blog but it is really just a statement centre for attacking people . . . so dont you do it . . . i said DONT . . . back away from the keyboard, its not like im daring you, its not like its all an elaborate trap so i can complain when you respond yet secretly relish the battle . . . an elaborate trap i know you will be sucked into because you love how exciting the word troll is!
to see my confession of being white trash CLICKHERE
now while corey and i were quietly trolling around orble minding our own business (as i always claim to be doing) we noticed a blog about trolling (CLICKHERE for Damo's "How To Be A Happy Troll") and we of course wanted to stop by and get some tips and look what we found in the comments by one Mountain Fog:
This sub group is also part of the larger "BOGANUS MAXIMUS" species, which is often found in, but not confined to, highly crowded outer suburbs surrounded by heavy industry.
Some of the boganus (bogan) behavioural characteristics are; feeding on high sugar diets, mall and park loitering in large numbers, spitting, spray can tagging, screaming, party crashing in huge numbers, lurid fake fur fringed hooded coat wearing etc. etc ad nauseum!
The net then, as you quite rightly identified, allows this large group to morph into many sub species and pretend to be what they are not i.e.; intelligent, knowledgeable, witty, fair minded, analytical etc
Some of the boganus (bogan) behavioural characteristics are; feeding on high sugar diets, mall and park loitering in large numbers, spitting, spray can tagging, screaming, party crashing in huge numbers, lurid fake fur fringed hooded coat wearing etc. etc ad nauseum!
The net then, as you quite rightly identified, allows this large group to morph into many sub species and pretend to be what they are not i.e.; intelligent, knowledgeable, witty, fair minded, analytical etc
Fog, how dare you insult my white trash culture!
is it a crime to loiter in a car park spray painting vehicles? hmmmm well is it?
wheres the tolerance buddy?
corey is deeply upset! he almost had to call into big brother sick today!
we tried to set a fire in the front yard to make ourselves feel better . . . we tried huffing some glue and eating a jar of nutella . . . we tried pushing each other around in a shopping trolley but nothing NOTHING will erase the pain of seeing our values mocked . . . mocked on the internet of all places . . . i mean really *shakes head*
corey was having a hard enough time being gay but now you have outed him as a bogan? how much more marginalised do you want him to be? poor lil sod . . .
ANYWAY if you read this post, which is clearly aimed at you, dont you dare come over here and retaliate with any more of your darned "opinions" . . . this may look like a public blog but it is really just a statement centre for attacking people . . . so dont you do it . . . i said DONT . . . back away from the keyboard, its not like im daring you, its not like its all an elaborate trap so i can complain when you respond yet secretly relish the battle . . . an elaborate trap i know you will be sucked into because you love how exciting the word troll is!
to see my confession of being white trash CLICKHERE
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Comment by Winston
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I hope I haven't made anyone mad through my ignorance and/or rage. Please don't label me a troll!
Comment by RubySoho
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And yes, bogans are funny. especially when they sing classic hip hop songs recorded before they were born. you have heard corey's rendition of "fight for your right to party" right?
oh yeah, i'm also the only person that gets mention cryptically in other people's blog's for I am the only original troll, pseudo-intellectual. liar and hoax-perpetuator around here. i expect that no-one will be visiting my blog anymore. oh well, orble. it was fun whilst it lasted.
sorry to make this all about me morgan but oh well, must go out with a bang right?
Comment by Winston
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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im going to cryptically mention you in ways you had never dreamed possible!
it is not FUN being white trash! did corey look like he was having FUN getting stoned and trashing his parents house??? NO Winston he did not! its no laughing matter!
expect a revenge blog when you least expect it!
damn trolls everywhere . . .
oh and look its the troll-master herself, madam Ruby
of course i knew corey had a song! how very dare you!
are you trying to imply he is not my boyfriend? my flamboyant gay boyfriend?
are you trying to say he doesnt have the right to party?
can i not just post provocative things without trolls trolling around making me feel like i have a troll infestation?????
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
You put that 'gay chubby dating' link on your post to taunt me!! (sob....sniff...)
I cannot believe it!
Are we not to play by the QUEENSberry Rules?
However, some points of order are necessary before the terrible relentless onslaught that will bring legions to tears and much gnashing of teeth...or gums depending on age and postcode!
1: I never called you a bogan!
2: I concur that you admt to being White Trash.
3: All Aussies are regarded by the English peerage as White Trash to some degree, so I am included.
4: Bogans, and the obscene street art of bogans, are not "Trash" as such, but are another subgroup, Boganus Perpetuum Repulsa, that menaing, they cannot ever attain a tertiary education, by honest means, or elevate above ludicrously laugable street theatre of an untrained and convulsive variety.
However, Bogans do have a role to play, as we all do!'
Bogans keep spray can manufacturers in work, home owners idle hands occupied, and they make amusing 'objects' to observe, from behind secure limousine windows, especially when the car splashes their awful faux rayon fur (no, they cannot afford REAL rayon!), as it crashes through their drab and tasteless suburban hell holes!
5: You live in Tasmania, which seems an idyllic isle, untainted by smokey industrial burbs, where all the Bogans live, in ditches for the most part.
6: I do have to acknowledge here, that some historians regard Tasmania with some concern, as to the extent and variety of its genetic pool; those seriously affected are notated as Tasmaniacs, of which, I am SURE, well reasonably certain, admittedly without scientific proof, and only anecdotal evidence, that you are not one of their number!
7: I love you.
8: I am gay!
9: I think I may be slightly passive aggressive...
10: We would make a perfect match.
Question:
Would our child, albeit made via a turkey baster, test tube and a lot of mandrax (the love drug of my youth), have three heads?
Answer:
Possibly, but, we would love them all the more, for when little Johnny/Agnes/Shelley skinned their knee, we could pat them on each head saying, "There! There! There!"
In Conclusion:
Although I have been outrageously slandered and misrepresented, I forgive you, and wish to say, Corey is a hybrid, he is not pure Bogan (Boganus Originus Perfecta), for Corey can string at least two slurred and mumbled syllables together, without ending with "EH" or "what".
I think Corey may be unique, a psycho-medical curiosity.
Speaking of which, I fear you may be suffering a temporary case of,
Boganus Imitata Imperfecta Compassionata!
I believe the correct procedure to arrest this debilitating mental illness is to follow these ten steps;
1:
Light large bonfire, anywhere will do, a lounge room if it is raining, preferably in some real Bogan's home.
2:
Dress blow up doll, (sex not important), with fake furred hoody jacket and ugg boots, or as normal people refer to them, when seeing a Bogan so attired, eewwwUGGHH boots!
3:
Toss down half a dozen rhohypnol, with half a bottle of stolen bourbon and coke (preferably stolen from a red neck moron's bottle shop).
4:
Projectile vomit onto doll.
5:
Invite all Bogans to a party in the house.
6:
Soak doll in petrol.
7:
Give Bogans petrol and coke to drink, trust me, they will never notice!
8:
Projectile vomit on the Bogans.
9:
Toss lit match!
10:
Leave immediately!
You will them become....
EX IGNORATA BOGANATUM INFECTUS!
Bless'ed are those not born Bogan!
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Really Long Link
ooooo Fog wrote a comment longer than my post haha
and its official:
you are the gayest person i know! lol
now THAT is saying something!
i love how the bourban has to be stolen and how much vomitting and petrol is needed in the above scenario! BAHAhaha
we will have a drag baby called ignatious . . . i think cate blanchett has already been the surrogate . . . and we will give it a can of petrol to entertain itself while we are out chubby-chasing! haha
dont pretend you dont have me in mind whenever you describe corey delany or any of my fellow bogans!
the bogans shall inherit the earth! (or was that the gays?)
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
tee hee...but NOOT Ignatius....please...it is a LONG story, which I will not bore everyone with!
so we need a name for our "drug-love" booze turkey baster baby...thinking....
fog
Comment by RubySoho
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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ahhhh to be an eccentric!
maybe someone complained about the large font . . . actually maybe it was me? maybe i should write a post complaining about it now! lol
what a lovely way to spend an evening, getting silly with my online buddies!
i hope you all know this is distracting me from completing my tranny article on Artist Quirk . . . i cant believe i only have 4 blogs, well its not as bad as being Ruby or Winston with only HALF a blog each . . . we should all aim to be like fog!
baby names: cornelius, daisy, orlando, oscar, felix, dorian haha dont tell me these are pet names
Comment by RubySoho
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I LAUGHED OUT LOUD.
so good to have you have you back...even if you were only gone for a few days.
Comment by Winston
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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i love my internet and sms jargon, sometimes i find it hard to speak in real words! lol
i takes so long to get through all the comment notifications if you dont check it for a few days but now im on top of it im trying to actually post a few things to my blog collection . . . i have movie reviews galore to get out there!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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I mean, reading you two's posts and comments...I can't believe it's real.
It's just absolutely too ridiculous for two human adults to act like that.
It must be a farce of some sort for the Orble community's entertainment.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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yes i like a bit of late night farce, usually just for my own entertainment, but if i have entertained anyone else thats a bonus . . . generally (with one noteable exception) all the people who comment my blogs are friends, Fogs a cool dude, we have everything in common . . .
the nasties tend to stay away from this blog . . . probably because its not really about anything, its almost a blog that is a parody of blogging that i waste time on while researching my other blogs lol
i noticed your last post about arguing online, i love that expression, although agreeing in theory and following the advice in practice are two very different things!
thanks for stopping by!
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
Tawdry Thoughts on Tiny Questions?...that just might attract a few blogonians who do not want to be challenged mentally, in any way? tee hee!
And Garret,
no...THIS IS FOR REAL!!
Bogan Wars have erupted in our patch of the globe many times before, but it is always hushed up by government and media interests controlled by corporate entities that have pecuniary interests in Bogan communities, like fake fur jacket companies.
This time...no mercy!
HERE IS OUR WAR CRY!!
PETROL... BLOOD ... TEARS ... DAMNABLE BOGANS AND FLYING FAUX FUR!!!!!!!!!!
And Rubyesque,
I sometimes do not use large type, as it is too exhausting to create, that one more button to press...far too boring...
And as for my posts being colourful??
You should try meeting me in real life!!...well...on a good day....sniff sniff..huff huff...
And as for my worthy opponent here, Madam Morgan Bell, I will keep my powder dry, for welling within is a terrible tsunami, a Bogan antidote, which will have to be delivered with almost hysterical religious ferocity, in order to effect some level of normality within her poor Bogan infected mind....all done in a caring and charitable way, of course!
Be warned...the Bogan Wars of 2008 are about to begin!
cheers
fog
Comment by Louie
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i haven't laughed this much since David left
Comment by RubySoho
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
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Keep it coming . . .
Sitting in the corner watching intently - MNG
Comment by RubySoho
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are you trying to imply he is not my boyfriend? my flamboyant gay boyfriend?
are you trying to say he doesnt have the right to party?
Oh he can party all he likes, but does he have to sing?
Comment by Morgan Bell
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whats all this "powder dry" business? are you talking about cocaine? haha
i had you pegged as an amyl man like corey! lol
oh that right mandrax was your drug of choice . . . exotic!
WAR ON BIATCH!!!!
hiya Louie,
bogans do rock!
i can see through Fogs latent boganality . . . subversively running us down in comments, using latin like we cant understand, throwing cocaine in our faces cos he knows we cant afford it! haha
thanks for stopping in and having a laugh!
hey Mr Nice Guy,
we could have a whole jousting tournament!
i will elect you umpire or ball-boy so you can have a ring-side seat!
thanks for the comment!
Ruby,
well whats the point of being gay and having the right to party if you cant break into a musical number about it?
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Lilla
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You are wasting your talents (well not that they are not being thoroughly appreciated by yours truly), but I can see a "Bogan Customs" book in here and you two are really the ones to write it...some of this stuff is hillarious!
LM-Butt-O
Lilla ...
Comment by Morgan Bell
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always glad to give you a laugh!
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
Why you ask?
For the following reasons;
when one looks at the really creative and amusing parts, as posted on the Bogan subject on this blog, they are all mine anyway!
cheers to my impending BOGANSAURUS!!
CHEERS to my impending BOGANITIONARY!!!
and cheers to my yet to be written, touchingly pathetic, droolingly droll, revoltingly romantic sex thriller paperback thruster novelette,
BOGAN HEAT!!
fog
P.S. To find out why Morgan Bell has attacked me follow this LINK: Morgan Bell and the whole Bogan Truth
Comment by Morgan Bell
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you get out of here Fog!
this is MY turf!
the creative and amusing parts are infact ALL MINE!!!!
you dont even speak bogan, how could you ever write a book on it????
it would be like pauline hanson writing a book about chinese food!
now get out of here you scamp! go on, get out . . .
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
the creative and amusing parts are infact ALL MINE!!!!
----------------------------- -------------
HOW DARE YOU!!
YOU BOGAN-LITE!!
YOU BOGANOBITCH!!
YOU WANNA-BE-BOGAN!!
IT IS MINE YAH HEAR!!!
ALL MINE!!!!'
(sings):
I am witty, I am pretty, I am witty and pretty and GAAAAAAYYYY...OH so pretty and SO witty and so not...MORGAN-BOGAN...a beeeeeccchhtt!!
But, I observe well....watching all Bogans!!
and just what have you said here that is witty...well...compared to MY FABULOUSLY WITTY REMARKS????
HMMM???
JUST WHAT EXXAGGGERLEE????
NONE! Nothing!!
et tu boganunm!
fog
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
i haven't laughed this
THANKS LOUIE!!
REALLY APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENT...and it was nice of you to give poor hapless bogan-wannabe Morgan Bell a crumb of sympathy.."don't worry"..
cheers and I'll see you at MY bogan book launch...Morgan could have been involved...sigh..but she tried to grab ALL the lime light and control...so utterly un-bogan to boot!!!
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
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boganobitch? you put the "itch" in"bitch" sista . . . or thats the world on the street anyway!
this is MY limelight you diva!
and im sure Louie was referring to ME!
*huff*
Comment by Lilla
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Are there different classes of Bogan?
For example, you know ... you have the corporate yuppy, the real estate yuppie, the legal-eagle yuppies etc...
Comment by Morgan Bell
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"glam trash" (think kath and kim or roberta williams off underbelly) - refers to women who make an effort to be tarted up but end up looking cheap and rough
"educated white trash" (todd mckinny, russel crow) - people that grew up as white trash and despite being educated and successful cannot help but fall back into their own rough ways
"carni trash" large inbred communities who store rusted car bodies and carnival equipment in their yard, they probably quite literally run the local carnivals
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
I have already been compiling lists, and you can see it has activated much comment here and also on the Troll comment site, and I shall endeavour to issue a Bogan Beware ID Kit, and a Boganasaurus, so one may decipher the gutteral and obtuse monotonal moronic mutterings of the lower end of the Aussie Slob Class.
cheers
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
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fog, that tongue or yours is razor sharp!
Comment by Lilla
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Going on your sample categories?
I really look forward to this coming out!
L...
Comment by Mountain Fog
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coming from you..that is indeed a high compliment!!
So...are we going to write "The Dumbfounding Book of Bogan" together now...or...more war??
cheers
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
Always destroy, never create!!
The bogan motto;
"Life, the world and nothingness!"
I'll send you a case of metho to celebrate!
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
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so addicted to the large large font . . . i think it really drives my points home!
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
U R A BOGAN LITE!!
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED FULL STRENGTH PETROL!!
BEST I CAN DO, IS A PETROL AND METHO COCKTAIL WITH A GLUE SNIFTER CHASER!!!
Now, for another addition to MY Bogan dictionary:
Definition:
BOGANATORY: a maternity facility for bogans, (known as a public toilet by normal people.)
copyright fog 2008
Comment by Morgan Bell
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"bogan lite" LOL that was a classic!
Comment by Mountain Fog
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QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
LAVATORY!!
I think this is why Bogans got confused, probably thinking it was a medical laboratory or some such.
fog