Morgan Bellhow many Norms does it take to change a lightbulb?
September 11th 2008 07:10
a tribute to the Norms of the world . . .
i have started my very own collection of Norms . . . they are the Norms that have shaped the way we see the world, enriching our culture and entertainment with their contributions to our quality of life . . . my aim is to collect the Normiest Norms i can get my hands on!
and Orbles very own Norm, master of the universe, expert mumbo jumbler and alleged "footballerist", he has crafted his own unique brand of cutting poetic prose which continues to thrill the masses . . . unfortunately i do not have a picture of the Norm (other than a sink) due to his deeply mysterious ways, but i do have a picture of this lightbulb which features in the rhetorical question of the title of this post:
so find your local neighbourhood Norm and give him a big hug . . . hes most likely a jovial sort of bloke . . . he may be a footballer . . . or he may be the psycho that stabs you in the shower!
three cheers for the Norms! *hooray*
i have started my very own collection of Norms . . . they are the Norms that have shaped the way we see the world, enriching our culture and entertainment with their contributions to our quality of life . . . my aim is to collect the Normiest Norms i can get my hands on!
Norm from Cheers
Norm MacDonald from The Norm Show (USA 1999-2001)
Norman Gunston
Normie Rowe
Norm Smith (AFL legend and namesake of the Norm Smith Medal)
Norman Bates (film Psycho)
Normal Distribution (statistics)
Norm from Life Be In It
and Orbles very own Norm, master of the universe, expert mumbo jumbler and alleged "footballerist", he has crafted his own unique brand of cutting poetic prose which continues to thrill the masses . . . unfortunately i do not have a picture of the Norm (other than a sink) due to his deeply mysterious ways, but i do have a picture of this lightbulb which features in the rhetorical question of the title of this post:
so find your local neighbourhood Norm and give him a big hug . . . hes most likely a jovial sort of bloke . . . he may be a footballer . . . or he may be the psycho that stabs you in the shower!
three cheers for the Norms! *hooray*
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I can tell you how long it takes.
Weeks, sometimes months.
Except in the bathroom.
You never know who might stay.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
speak of the devil . . .
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Comment by Two Guys Sports
Wrestling Wrap Up
Reviews R Us
World of Wrestling
Blog America
I sat here thinking of other Norms even thought you named the best Norm ever already - Norm Peterson from Cheers.
I thought about Norm Abram, sidekick to bob Vila on This Old House now host of that and New Yankee Workshop.
Norm Van Brocklin of the NFL a long time ago.
That was all I came up with so I put "Norm" into a search engine to see if there was an obvious one that I wasn't thinking of that would pop right up. I didn't find any others, but I did find this rather odd organization that you might get a laugh out of.
NORM - The National Organization of Restoring Men
"The National Organization of Restoring Men is a non-profit support group for men who have concerns about being circumcised, are considering foreskin restoration, or are in the process of restoring their foreskins. Our aim is to help men regain a sense of self-directedness -- physically as well as emotionally."
If for some reason you want to read more it is norm.org
Gene
By the way, is that comment before mine a Chinese spammer?
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
as always you get a gold star for putting more thought into your comment than i did my post! haha
foreskin restoration hey?
hmmm i had no idea there was even a market for that!
im glad you came up with some more American and sporting Norms, i would hate to think i have neglected a single important Norm . . . keep em coming if you think of any more examples!
** re the spam: im not sure if its Chinese, i just left it there as an example for admin if need be, i posted an alert about it in the writers forum
Comment by Two Guys Sports
Wrestling Wrap Up
Reviews R Us
World of Wrestling
Blog America
I do not advise anyone else clicking the links. It probably tried to give me all sorts of spy and adware.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Na, he's one of the nicest blokes you'd ever hope to meet.
But our privacy pact prevents me from telling anyone any details of what he looks like.
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
Oh what I would've given to have met all those 'Norms' who gathered in England back in 1066 . . . .
you know - the Norman Conquests . . .
Do'h
That was pitiful wasn't it?
Stay well
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
thanks for the info
i didnt dare click on it myself
stupid spammers
hi David,
well now im jealous!
id be honoured just to meet the sink!
hi MNG,
oh dear, the Norman conquest? haha
ill just image a really long bar with all the Norms perched at it!
i saw Norman Gunston aka Garry McDonald in a theatre production of the musical Guys & Dolls in Melbourne recently . . . i should have jumped on stage and shook his hand and welcomed him to me Norm collection!
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Orble Norm is a very nice bloke. There's a few Orbler's I miss, and Norm ranks up there with the best of them. We had a lot of fun back when I used to be on here regularly. I think I like his abstractness most of all. Or the fact he just has such a different mind to mine. And thinks outside the hexagon. And that he loves footy. And cricket. And all those sports us blokes love. The ones that make our partners leave us.
He's a generous man. I stayed at his place [at an undiscloed location] for a week or so. Can't remember how long. But living your life in a drunken stupour does that to you.
I was even fortunate enough to meet the WolfGobbler, his artist muse.
There's so much angst in this virtual world, it's nice every now and again to talk about something or someone nice.
But I won't hear a bad word said against Norm. Especially not by people who haven't met him. I'll put the pads and the pill-box on and go into bat for him any day.
Stuff I can dribble some shit. Not even sure why I'm here tonight. Probably sick of women on webcam I guess. There's only so much a man can take.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
high praise indeed!
you guys must be great buddies!
abstractness is a good quality, i do enjoy reading plays on words, makes your brain work that little bit harder . . . and thats never a bad thing!
i wish i had an artist muse!
maybe i do and i dont recognise them for who they really are?
Comment by alt_ed
Alted Opinion
ArtCombat
The Inner Saintdom
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
im not sure if you mean Normans or Normals but i could use a few more of each!
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
By the way, I drank a whole bottle of vodka today. Then I called my boss a "cunt". FIGJAM!
p.s Norm rocks. Footballerist or no footballerist.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
i wonder if "footballerist" actually means anything?
speaking of cunts . . .
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
He's the new Richie Benaud, only he could actually play.
But don't remind me of the fun we had.
Too much.
He also set the standard for many of us.
And yet his bed went unmade
Ruby's right, I rock... back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
Ruby rocks... the boat. And that's not bad.
By the way. Ladies, I'm available
It's just a pity I'm so preoccupied.
I like walks on the belch and quite nights at home in front of the friar.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
oh so now its TWO nice guys, totally available . . . this blog is called Deep Pencil not Perfect Match haha
oh i thought of another Norm . . .
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
I love his work, have several of his prints and about to frame one for the bedroom!
have you ever been to his estate in the blue mountains? very very cool, the old swimming pool in amongst the trees, left over from the decadent 20s or 30s ... those would've been the days!
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
i reckon Norman Lindsay could change a lightbulb all by himself, or at least instruct a posse of nude young women to do it for him!
i was watching something on The Magic Pudding earlier today which reminded me
i havent been to his estate, maybe i should put that on my "things to do before i die" list? you make it sound really beautiful and exciting!