Morgan Bellpinning all your hopes on a great white elephant . . .
May 20th 2008 11:58
A white elephant is a valuable possession whose cost (particularly cost of upkeep) exceeds its supposed usefulness, and it is therefore a liability.
A great white hope is a person expected to bring much success to a team or organization who have a seemingly impossible goal (white boxers being recruited to fight the unbeatable black champion)
im starting to realise that just when i thought i was free of the "white elephant" is my life i really had just replaced one with another . . .
a career in engineering was my first great white elephant, i slugged it out for eight long years thinking if i could just get qualified, get promoted, get some responsibility or respect that the secure career of engineering would be the answer to my prayers . . . my ticket to the big time, to financial independence, to stress free living . . . but putting my life on hold, tiring myself out, sacrificing my health and my happiness was a very expensive cost of upkeep for an unachieveable hope
eventually i came back to the old addage "life is what happens while youre making other plans" and wondered what i had been missing out on by blindly pursuing a far-fetched dream . . . perhaps in life we should as much value on the journey as the destination and stop to smell the flowers while we are doing our vocational training and climbing of the corporate ladder . . . in the end i was really only just balancing on the first rung of that ladder, desperately striving for the second, and the constant stretching eventually toppled me from my perch
i realised i was spending the bulk of my life working with people i didnt like, studying something tedious, and commuting between the two . . . how many hours out of my week was i spending doing things i enjoyed, conversing with people i respected etc, compared to the hours spent gritting my teeth and treading water to support this great white elephant?
i got sick, really sick, and this elephant was eating me out of house and home . . . i had to let it go . . .
it was hard because it seemed like such an incredible gift for someone from a working class family to have the opportunity to be a professional . . . it was hard because it had become part of my identity "owner of the great white elephant" and a point of pride . . . right up until the very end i gripped onto my great white elephant even as i was being crushed under its weight
i thought i had given her up and liberated myself . . . but low and behold as soon as i waved one goodbye out the front door another snuck in my rear window
a compensation law suit!
if you put all of your time, energy and dignity into feeding this great white elephant you will get a financial reward of proportions that will change your life!
sounds amazing doesnt it?
put your life on hold for six months, maybe twelve . . . it stretches out to eighteen months . . . the closer you get to the potential payout the smaller the dollar value seems, its barely even going to cover the expenses outlaid whilst waiting for it!
damn you great white elephant in sheeps clothing!
in a world where money equals respect, power, honour and prestige it is so easy to let your great white elephant lead you around by the nose . . . but while you are feeding the great white elephant, paying into it like a piggy bank that never pays out, think to yourself what have you missed out on . . . waiting . . .
A great white hope is a person expected to bring much success to a team or organization who have a seemingly impossible goal (white boxers being recruited to fight the unbeatable black champion)
im starting to realise that just when i thought i was free of the "white elephant" is my life i really had just replaced one with another . . .
a career in engineering was my first great white elephant, i slugged it out for eight long years thinking if i could just get qualified, get promoted, get some responsibility or respect that the secure career of engineering would be the answer to my prayers . . . my ticket to the big time, to financial independence, to stress free living . . . but putting my life on hold, tiring myself out, sacrificing my health and my happiness was a very expensive cost of upkeep for an unachieveable hope
eventually i came back to the old addage "life is what happens while youre making other plans" and wondered what i had been missing out on by blindly pursuing a far-fetched dream . . . perhaps in life we should as much value on the journey as the destination and stop to smell the flowers while we are doing our vocational training and climbing of the corporate ladder . . . in the end i was really only just balancing on the first rung of that ladder, desperately striving for the second, and the constant stretching eventually toppled me from my perch
i realised i was spending the bulk of my life working with people i didnt like, studying something tedious, and commuting between the two . . . how many hours out of my week was i spending doing things i enjoyed, conversing with people i respected etc, compared to the hours spent gritting my teeth and treading water to support this great white elephant?
i got sick, really sick, and this elephant was eating me out of house and home . . . i had to let it go . . .
it was hard because it seemed like such an incredible gift for someone from a working class family to have the opportunity to be a professional . . . it was hard because it had become part of my identity "owner of the great white elephant" and a point of pride . . . right up until the very end i gripped onto my great white elephant even as i was being crushed under its weight
i thought i had given her up and liberated myself . . . but low and behold as soon as i waved one goodbye out the front door another snuck in my rear window
a compensation law suit!
if you put all of your time, energy and dignity into feeding this great white elephant you will get a financial reward of proportions that will change your life!
sounds amazing doesnt it?
put your life on hold for six months, maybe twelve . . . it stretches out to eighteen months . . . the closer you get to the potential payout the smaller the dollar value seems, its barely even going to cover the expenses outlaid whilst waiting for it!
damn you great white elephant in sheeps clothing!
in a world where money equals respect, power, honour and prestige it is so easy to let your great white elephant lead you around by the nose . . . but while you are feeding the great white elephant, paying into it like a piggy bank that never pays out, think to yourself what have you missed out on . . . waiting . . .
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Comment by S.L.
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Comment by Cheryl J
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I'm glad that you didn't continue your career as an engineer. I don't doubt for a moment that you have what it takes to do a brilliant job but I so want to see you pursue writing. You have such a great way with words, especially when you write about art. Your words paint pictures of the pictures themselves. You're a talent dear so stick with it.
I also love your life musings, they invariably give me a chuckle!
Hey maybe we should collaborate on a book about living with pain while keeping a sense of humour. That is after we get the great white hunter to come and kill your great white elephant thereby becoming the great white hope who goes for a celebratory dip and gets eaten by a great white shark. Whe can bury him using the great White Lady Funerals...well great wasn't part of their name but just go with me on this hahaha.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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thanks for the well wishes . . . as a silver lining im kind of glad to be having a quarter-life crisis and to be realising these things now, hopefully the future will hold many fabulous new opportunities which i will be wise enough to appreciate! (im having a "gap-year" as we speak)
hi Cheryl,
if theres a woman in this world who enjoys a play on words more than me it must be you!
i got quite a chuckle from your elaborate "great white" scenario . . . thanks for always being there with something funny to say to lift the spirits!
now in all seriousness if you ever want to co-write a book about anything ill be with you in a jiffy!
noone knows pain like we do!
Comment by RubySoho
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Given her up? Why her? Because all burdens are women right? What nickname did you give your white elephant...let me guess Hillary? You hate women don't you? Don't you?
Sorry...just trying to say something stupid and funny as I am not comfortable with feeling as sad as your post makes me feel...
Comment by Morgan Bell
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well i did get a laugh from your mock rant!
im sorry, it wasnt sposed to be gloomy it was sposed to be revolutionary! lol
im just coming to realise that nothing in life is the magical turning point it first appears to be . . . its all a mirage on the horizon to distract us from doing what we really should be doing.
i dont think any experience in life is a waste, i just laugh at myself as i got sucked in by the dollar signs once again . . . i dont know why i find the promise of money so paralyzing?
"sit here patiently on this spot and incredible riches will land in your lap"
geez c'mon morgan its a fairy tale . . . get back to your writing!
ps: i wanted to call my elephant obama but he wasnt white enough, so hillary was my only option!
Comment by Ayda
Phantasmelodia
No, seriously this is a bravely honest and penetrating piece, Morgan. Thank you for sharing.
If only life was about learning from laughter instead of tears, but mostly it is not. If that came out so emo, so be it. I salute and can only relate to those who are survivors, who know the meaning of pain and live instead of it. I will not go into the hardships I went and have been going through in a comment or how, at the age of 31, I still insist on freelancing although I hardly make ends meet yada yada.
It seems you know a bit of that
Just allow me to say,
I feel you.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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thanks so much for your comment, im glad you could relate!
we all get a bit emo sometimes, theres nothing wrong with that!
i havent read "The Secret" but im aware of what it is from my daytime Oprah viewing
i always think of the expression "you cant cheat an honest person" and wonder if i spent less time trying to "get rich quick" (and by rich i just mean financially independent) and more time producing something of value i might achieve the success im looking for?
so why do you choose to freelance?
Comment by Cheryl J
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We all have this ingrained thought process that success is tied up with being wealthy or by climbing an invisible ladder in our careers. I'm not saying people shouldn't aspire to achieving great things but sometimes we are successful by discovering what doesn't make us happy as equally as we would be by discovering what does. Sometimes you achieve success by walking away. I hope that makes sense!
Comment by Ayda
Phantasmelodia
Where I live, you work your life out during the day, fall asleep in front of the sofa at 10 pm, only to restart the cycle the next day for, say, 700$ a month when 700$ a month does not give you a life. If you're not superlucky or your family doesn't have good contacts or if you're not already born into wealth, a 9 to 5 life (even after uni) is a continious struggle.
Erm, no. I want none of that.
You see, I was born into wealth and I witnessed it evaporate overnight. So, I find working sensless and selfless, meaningless.
Why suffer from the pressure, the stress and drama of office life when I can suffer gladly working from home with a cup of tea at hand?
Comment by Morgan Bell
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so kind, as always!
why is it so hard for people to listen to their hearts?
the ability to walk away is the most difficult thing you can ever achieve . . . if you spend the better part of your life thinking "quitters are losers" etc then you feel really out on a limb when you are going against the grain (haha now my cliches are just getting ridiculous)
anyway, i feel much more confident since meeting people like you . . . i admire you . . . you are an inspiration!
hi Ayda,
i dont know why everyone doesnt work from home in this age of the information superhighway and highspeed broadband . . . hopefully offices will become a thing of the past, they seem to be redundant with internet communications and i wonder why bosses still invest in the overheads
Comment by Ayda
Phantasmelodia
Everyone is connected to everyone via internet and meetings can be held successfully via teleconference. More gain, no strain. Ha!
In my opinion, people are addicted to the idea of dressing up as businessmen/women and love walking around showing off how important they are. That's why offices are still popular. That and people can't do without doing something. I mean it. Mostly they gotta do something. They just can't sit still. Even if they do, their minds are racing (we need urgent Zen domination). So offices provide an illusion of occupancy even if you don't have much work to do.
By the way, I'm not against career people. If they're happy, I'm happy.
Sorry about my endless rant. It's just that this was a topic I relate to a lot
Comment by RubySoho
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hey it wasn't gloomy, it just reminds me of how terribly unfair life can be....but everything we go through makes us who we are i guess...and i certainly like who you are. and that goes for the other women who have commented on this post, it's a pleasure to be in the company of so many strong, intelligent, thoughtful women...not you Bradish...kidding, kidding, I"M KIDDING!
Poor Obama, not white enough, not black enough...jeez give a nigga a break will ya? yes, Morgan, i am going to milk that for all it is worth...
Comment by Morgan Bell
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that may well be the funniest comment youve ever written! haha
see when times are tough i just think well at least im not obama . . . the poor man is so diverse he will never fit in anywhere!
im glad everyone comes on and comments when im pondering the meaning of life, it gives me so many new ideas when i read your opinions!
Ayda,
hey rant all you like, im sure i will write ten more posts on the exact same topic!
i think commuting to work and the general slow-paced office culture is a collosal waste of everyones time, imagine if every minute between when we stepped out our front door to when we returned was spent doing something useful?
oh an i agree totally about it all being about appearances . . .