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Deep Pencil - The blog of Morgan Bell (author of Sniggerless Boundulations)


You have entered the random thinking space of Morgan Bell. These are my musings, things about my life written either off the top of my head or in a completely calculated fashion. This is where i flesh out writing ideas and discuss my life and my opinions.

Author bio: Bell’s short story "It Had To Be Done" was first published in the Newcastle Writers Group Anthology 2012, and her short story "Midnight Daisy" was published by YWCA Newcastle in 2013 as part of the She: True Stories project, with live readings on ABC 1233 in February 2014 and Newcastle Writers Festival in April 2014. Bell contributed a short story to the 2014 Hunter Speculative Fiction Anthology called “The Switch” which is based on Germanic folklore. It is due to be published in May 2014 alongside award-winning authors such as Margo Lanagan and Kirstyn McDermott. In March 2014 Bell's short story "Don't Pay The Ferryman", an anti-travel piece, was shortlisted for the Hunter Writer's Centre Travel Writing Prize 2014. Sniggerless Boundulations is Bell's debut collection of fifteen stories, touching on themes fear, time, aging, anxiety, and jealousy. The work is experimental in form and length, including flash fiction and vignettes, and is an examination of the horrors of life.

Santa is Satan: when bloggers come unstucky

January 10th 2009 13:55
I just discovered a blogger by the name of Matthew Stucky (CLICKHERE to view blog) who has proposed a theory about how Hollywood created Santa and his (apparently thinly veiled) gay reindeer to promote the "homosexual agenda" and generally spread evil . . .

This was my favourite passage:

"People are going to read this & say I'm crazy but hasn't Hollywood always been trying to pump in homosexual themes into kids movies & cartoons. One of the teletubbies is gay. Bert & Ernie are gay. In Scooby Doo Greg is gay. Hollywood has always had agendas they are trying to push and one of those major agendas is homosexuality is ok. It's no big deal. Another one they are trying to push is "It's ok for women to work."

The truth is Santa Clause is being used by Satan to corrupt kids at a very young age. This is much like in the Disney movies which are littered with sexual content, homosexuality, etc... A woman falling in love with an animal(Beauty & the Beast). A grown man who wants to hang around little boys all day(Peter Pan). Peter Pan is also always played by women in plays because he is a long haired looking faggot in the movie."

The audacity of Hollywood trying to say its ok for women to work!

It was actually quite an informative article, I didnt even realise some of those characters were homosexuals, I really did learn some things . . .

The only part I found a little puzzling was who was responsible for creating Santa, I was under the impression it was the Coca Cola company, but according to Stucky it was the Disney version that first brought out the satanic side of the fable by picking faggy names for the reindeer . . . see i didnt know that either until I visited the Stucky blog.

Santa or Satan?

I did a bit of a fact check on who actually named the reindeer and it originated from the 1823 poem "The Night Before Christmas"

You know the one that starts out:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

Well it goes on to name the reindeer:

And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer and Vixen,
"On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Dunder and Blixem;

The character of Rudolf was later created in 1939 by Robert L. May as part of his employment with retail department store Montgomery Ward in an effort to boost childrens book sales.

But Stucky has an explanation for all this:

The person who originally came up with these names probably did not have this intent. They probably originally had some of the reindeer as male & some as female. However, the animated movie that was made in 1964 had a different idea. In the movie all 8 of these reindeer were male reindeer. Take a look at those names again. Male reindeer named Dancer, Prancer, Vixen & Cupid?!?!?!

See its all about the gender of the cartoons than discerns whether they are tools of evil or innocent childrens stories.

Any last words Stucky?

The death penalty should be enacted for the queers.

ahhh charming . . .

Photo by Rick Aguilar - Corey L. Mills as Rudolph in Hell in a Handbag Production's Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer

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30 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Teresa Ralton

January 10th 2009 14:20
I thought at first that this was some sort of crazy joke but ... Oh My God ... it is hard to believe such weird ideas are out there. Is Matthew Stucky a young boy? I hope so. Maybe he still has a chance to extricate himself from some very warped teachings. Maybe it is a joke!

Comment by Cheryl J

January 10th 2009 14:21
Good grief, where did you dig up Matthew Stuckey?

Now we all know that Bert and Ernie are homosexual but the reindeer - never! Although I do think the tooth fairy is gay, his name says it all

Comment by RubySoho

January 10th 2009 14:39
Oh you missed my favourite quote:

I would be overjoyed if every single queer in the entire world died today. The Bible makes it clear they are reprobates who are past the point of salvation. The Bible also makes it clear they are rapists & very wicked people. They have no chance to get saved and no saved person could ever become a queer.

No saved person could ever become a queer! And no sane person could ever become a Matthew Stuckey.

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 10th 2009 14:47
hi Teresa,
unfortunately i think this guy is for real, ive seen a few queer sites reporting on him and having a laugh

hi Cheryl,
if theres a psycho on the internet anywhere i WILL find them! haha
im glad he is keeping a list of gay characters . . . do you think hes a little fixated on the whole issue????

hi Ruby,
oh yes that was a delightful section, thats the bit where he delves from absurdity into pure hatred . . . all queer people are rapists????
*scratches head*
he must have been a pleasure to teach in scripture class . . .

Comment by RubySoho

January 10th 2009 14:55
You know it will never cease to amaze me that in a world full of murderers and rapists, child abusers and war mongers, somehow some people still manage to have such a special hatred set aside for homosexuals. Cain, who oh so supposedly murdered his own brother in a fit of jealous rage could somehow win back God's love, but Liberace? Forget it it man! Scum of the earth.

p.s having read the bible, i'm still not exactly sure just where it says all queers are rapists. probably were it mentions abortion and muslims i'm guessing.

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 10th 2009 15:15
hi Ruby,

i'm still not exactly sure just where it says all queers are rapists. probably were it mentions abortion and muslims i'm guessing.

yeah it must be the missing chapter that only crazy people get!

i dont know why homosexuality gets elevated above all the legit violent sins . . . sometimes i wonder if these Stucky-esque people are genuinely concerned that if people were sexually free it would be revealed that absolutely everyone is gay, like its a contagious disease or a drug that will be so appealing it will engulf the bulk of the population

Comment by Wilson Pon

January 10th 2009 16:28
Gosh, Morgan. I didn't realize that the word, "Santa" and "Satan" are having the same alphabets, but they just in different order...

By the way, I think that Stucky should learn how to control his emotion...

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 10th 2009 16:31
hi Wilson,
yep just swap the lettering order around and you have the devil himself: Rudolf! haha
Stucky needs a stress-ball to squeeze or something . . .

Comment by Norm

January 10th 2009 20:42
I bet he wishes an outrageously jolly man would squeeze in through his chimney late at night.

The odds were too good.

Comment by Janet Collins

January 10th 2009 21:57
The comment by Ransom on Stucky's post couldn't be more true:

This is quite possibly the most hilarious load of BS ever posted to the entire blogosphere.

Comment by Jason King

January 10th 2009 23:17
Shit, is this why reindeers turn me on? And I am going to burn for eternity because Peter Pan is my all time fave story. Help me Jesus! I hear him - he's in the chimney - HELP ME.

Seriously though - I do like Mina's comments:
Dear Matthew, I refer you to this study done in 1996 at the University of Georgia which shows that homophobic men tend to harbour repressed homosexual feelings themselves. Take from that what you will and have a nice day now
and Phil's Comment:
Stucky "doesn't debate"...because he doesn't have the intellectual fortitude to debate. He is a sheep that follows his sick master ("Pastor" Anderson). He sits in a dark room on his computer (probably looking at porn), biting his nails, waiting of his pending rape from one of those fags. Idiot

And totally serious now ladies - you should be off Orble and back in the kitchen. Make me a PIE damnit!

Comment by Jason King

January 10th 2009 23:34
I just tried to post comments on his site begging for forgiveness for my sins and to post the whole article on God's Law - Homosexuality - great linked cross reference Jason (LOL) and he has to approve all the comments posted on his site - so this guy is asking for more hatred from everyone. He must be mentally off his rocker!

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 11th 2009 04:36
hi Norm,
i think we all pray for outrageously jolly men baring gifts, or gifthorses, or their teeth

hi Janet,
i wonder if someone is compiling a list somewhere of most bizarre internet pages . . . i think Stucky should receive a nomination!

hi Jason,
if you want to see the comments on a few other blogs that discuss it click HERE, HERE, and HERE
i think its safe to say that Stucky has come mentally unstucky!

Comment by Kleonaptra

January 12th 2009 00:01
oo, peoples, lets not forget, if everything in the Bible is utterly true, remember Dueteronomy...."Any man who has had his testicles or penis crushed or removed shall not be admitted into the kingdom of the LORD..."

Watch out boys. One little accident and your out of Heaven for good!

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 12th 2009 02:29
hi Kleo,
well i guess that Bobbit guy wont be approaching the pearly gates anytime soon!

Comment by Spidergrackle

January 12th 2009 05:30
He's real, unfortunately: so is his church. These people exist.

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 12th 2009 06:30
hi Spidergrackle,
the real ones are usually the scariest, even satire cant be as cutting as authethic rage
thanks for the comment

Comment by Jason King

January 12th 2009 06:48
LOL - thanks - that was fun. This was my fave quote from The Grackle's Nest - also discussing Stucky.

I hereby announce the establishment of the Matthew Stucky Award for Uncompromising Religious Insanity. It will be given out to those people whose theological views are so extreme that they test the limits of Poe's Law, entering a sublime region of nut-space which arguably lies beyond parody.

Comment by Dianna G

January 12th 2009 13:35

Ohjeez. Good to know my adopted uncle is a rapist-and two of my best friends.

And we all know my grandmother, the one who works at a shelter for abused women... totally a rapist.

I like the sound of that award...

Though perhaps we're giving the Stuck-in-his-ways person too much attention?


Comment by Morgan Bell

January 12th 2009 14:05
hi Jason,
yeah the Grackles Nest blog was gold!
i like how they point out Disney didnt even make that movie:
in the Rankin/Bass version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (which, in truly scholarly fashion, he mistakenly attributes to Disney Studios)

hi Dianna,
well when life gives us lemons we should try to make lemonade, rather than get personally offended or angry i hope that everyone who reads it can just shrug their shoulders and go "well at least i was entertained"
meanwhile, my address book features more "rapists" than a mega-marathon of Law & Order SVU

Comment by Dianna G

January 12th 2009 14:07
Mine too Morgan, mine too

Comment by Cheryl J

January 12th 2009 14:08
I love a good nutjob, where would all the comedy be if it wasn't for maniacs like this? The only problem is they actually believe which makes them a tad on the dangerous side.

Hey Kleo, I did not know that. Next man who disses me is getting his weiner whollaped so I can keep him out of heaven. I guess that guy in Perth whose completely insane wife set fire to his genitals is out in purgatory somewhere...oh that's right he would have been anyway because of the adultery that provoked the attack...hmmm.

Comment by Kleonaptra

January 12th 2009 23:01
Hi all,
We have an old, heavy catholic bible handed down through our family, gilt pages and all. One day I said to myself, Im gonna read this damn thing, every single word, cos despite being catholic, I had never actually read the whole thing. I had a christian friend telling me I should.

First thing I noticed, it was missing parts that my christian friend told me I should read. Proves every version is totally different!

So Im reading. I get to Dueteronomy....When I read that passage, I gave up. I just couldnt stomach any more....Like Jesus, what are you thinking?

My christian friend tells me to ignore dueteronomy, cos its by Moses, who was a 'great liar'.....Is there any truth to be found when you hit this discussion?

Comment by Johnny Come Lately

January 13th 2009 04:55
Far out what a freak!!!!!

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 13th 2009 05:17
hi Cheryl,
oh i agree
where would all the comedy be if it wasn't for maniacs like this?

hi Kleo,
haha Moses was a liar!
says a lot about the integrity of the text!
i think when people read any text they really ought to research the era and cultures of the time when it was written to properly consider the context and intentions and decide if and how it is still relevant

hi Johnny,
its freak central!

Comment by Teresa Ralton

January 13th 2009 05:20
Hi Morgan
I just had a look at the site you gave a link to. I was thinking this person could not possibly be for real and must have some hidden agenda in posing such outrageous opinions. But he seems genuine. Eeeeech!It's creepy!

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 13th 2009 06:32
hi Teresa,
yeah hes strange one alright!
hes got a few different entries in a similar vein, im sure he believes deeply in the crazy things he is saying

Comment by Spidergrackle

January 13th 2009 20:16
Arrgh: I falsely accused him on the Rankin/Bass v Disney issue: didn't read closely enough: he was talking about Peter Pan at that point. I hate it when ghouls like this are able to catch me out, but fair's fair.

Comment by Paul

January 14th 2009 05:38
Nice work, Morgan! Have you sent your resume to Keith Windschuttle yet? P.

Comment by Morgan Bell

January 14th 2009 12:00
hi Spidergrackle,
i loved your blog!
i dont blame you for being confused by the ramblings of Matthew Stucky, as you can see in my original post i was having trouble discerning if he meant Disney created Santa Claus . . . he is quite the confusing fellow!

hi Paul,
i do like a good exposé . . .

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