Morgan Bellsecret mens business
July 21st 2008 17:12
so Samantha from Sex & The City has sex like a man . . .
and KD Lang dresses like a man . . .
Margaret Thatcher ruled like a man . . .
Cher sings like a man . . .
Janis Joplin drank like a man . . .
and David Bowie acted like a man . . . oh wait, was he a man? haha
well, i like to smell like a man!
not a dirty sweaty working class man, but a fabulous immaculate gay man!
i feel as though men get the premium reserve of beauties products . . . theres a thousand facial cleaners for women which are probably all made out of some reconstituted gloop (did anyone see what they made soap out of in Fight Club?) so i feel much more confident selecting a product from the thin end on the wedge and using something a man would use . . . that way i know its got the "special" ingredients!
men are no-nonsense type creatures, if something isnt good well they wont buy it . . . how many times have you heard your fathers and brothers and sons say "id rather use soap and water"? on their faces and their hair haha . . . so i know that the men who own the beauty product companies wouldnt even suggest a product to another man unless it was so rigorously tested that no man would take it back!
this is my logic . . . dont question it!
have you ever noticed that all products aimed at men are menthol?
why dont women get mentol?
its so luxurious and stimulating!
have you ever tried American Crew hair products? do you know how refreshing it feels to put menthol on your scalp? no, most women never get the pleasure . . . our shampoo has daisies and lavender and talcum powder in it . . . but im letting the secret out ladies!
what about a Loreal Mens Expect facial cleanser? pure menthol right on your face! so very refreshing! and leaves your skin soft and supple with some magic "anti-tightening" agent . . . i dont even know what it is . . . but i know its magic . . . and its secret!
and have you ever grabbed your boyfriends deoderant by mistake or because yours ran out and ended up wondering why it not only smells nicer but lasts longer?
when a mens anti-perspirant deoderant says "24 hour protection" it means it!
men dont mess around with these things!
now im going to let you in on the biggest secret of them all . . .
mens perfume!
in particular Givenchy's "Pi" and Kenneth Cole's "RSVP" . . . these are the best perfumes i have ever bought, they smell outrageously good on!
womens perfumes smell like sugar, or musk, or flowers . . . boring!
i dont even go to the womens counter in the perfume shop, i beeline straight for the mens area, its smaller but i know its more specialised and much more cutting edge!
and KD Lang dresses like a man . . .
Margaret Thatcher ruled like a man . . .
Cher sings like a man . . .
Janis Joplin drank like a man . . .
and David Bowie acted like a man . . . oh wait, was he a man? haha
well, i like to smell like a man!
not a dirty sweaty working class man, but a fabulous immaculate gay man!
i feel as though men get the premium reserve of beauties products . . . theres a thousand facial cleaners for women which are probably all made out of some reconstituted gloop (did anyone see what they made soap out of in Fight Club?) so i feel much more confident selecting a product from the thin end on the wedge and using something a man would use . . . that way i know its got the "special" ingredients!
men are no-nonsense type creatures, if something isnt good well they wont buy it . . . how many times have you heard your fathers and brothers and sons say "id rather use soap and water"? on their faces and their hair haha . . . so i know that the men who own the beauty product companies wouldnt even suggest a product to another man unless it was so rigorously tested that no man would take it back!
this is my logic . . . dont question it!
have you ever noticed that all products aimed at men are menthol?
why dont women get mentol?
its so luxurious and stimulating!
have you ever tried American Crew hair products? do you know how refreshing it feels to put menthol on your scalp? no, most women never get the pleasure . . . our shampoo has daisies and lavender and talcum powder in it . . . but im letting the secret out ladies!
what about a Loreal Mens Expect facial cleanser? pure menthol right on your face! so very refreshing! and leaves your skin soft and supple with some magic "anti-tightening" agent . . . i dont even know what it is . . . but i know its magic . . . and its secret!
and have you ever grabbed your boyfriends deoderant by mistake or because yours ran out and ended up wondering why it not only smells nicer but lasts longer?
when a mens anti-perspirant deoderant says "24 hour protection" it means it!
men dont mess around with these things!
now im going to let you in on the biggest secret of them all . . .
mens perfume!
in particular Givenchy's "Pi" and Kenneth Cole's "RSVP" . . . these are the best perfumes i have ever bought, they smell outrageously good on!
womens perfumes smell like sugar, or musk, or flowers . . . boring!
i dont even go to the womens counter in the perfume shop, i beeline straight for the mens area, its smaller but i know its more specialised and much more cutting edge!
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Comment by S.L.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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oh no, you really have no sense of smell?
does it alter how you taste things?
the great thing about menthol is that you can feel it aswell as smell it, but that probably wont help you in the perfume department!
do you still wear perfume and buy fragranced items just out of habit?
thnks for the comment!
Comment by S.L.
The Political Brief
Concerning flavor, Morgan, I don't seem to notice taste as much as texture these days. Without being able to smell, the taste loses something.
The biggest downfall, of course is that I can't detect a gas leak and almost blew myself up once! Fortunately my kids were with me and got me out of the house before I could light a cigarette. In that case, smoking could have been deadly!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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haha thats a good example of smoking being deadly!
you were lucky to escape the gas leak incident!
maybe you will need to keep a canary in the house as a warning like the old miners did?
Comment by RubySoho
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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ahhh good to see im not the only one!
i wasnt beginning to feel like a conspiracy theorist!
perfume is one of those "feel good" things that i know is over-priced but i splash out on anyway
Comment by Mountain Fog
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why dont women get mentol?
its so luxurious and stimulating!
sigh... Morgan.. how can I say this politely...
GIT YURRR MITTS ORRRFFFA OURRR STOOFFF!!!
Firstly, women have their products designed by men, for the most part, so that says something.
Secondly, women have about eight BILLION care products, and now you want ours as well!!
By the way, you say women have no perfume worth using as they are all lavender and flowers, what rot!!
Where do you shop? At the geriatric counter? All those scents belong to grandma, no actually, GREAT GRANDMOTHER!!
There is a nice little perfume, that has been around for awhile, and it is perfect for women, and some men... well, so they think at least, poor queens.
What I allude to is called,
CHANEL No. 5!!!!
Although, I hear there maybe a Bogan fake copy, labelled,
KENNEL No.5 But that does smell more like doggie doos I am reliably told!
Try it, trust me, Chanel No.5 is fabulous! And, it has the added benefit of keeping repulsive Bogan men at bay!!
And, I have a suspicion, regarding the real reason for your love of menthol...
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRINKING IT GURRLISH!!!
I know many Bogans confuse menthol products with Creme de Menthe, it is not their fault generally, as they are devoid of taste in all things cultured and they cannot read, except possibly signs that say, KEEP OUT!, or PRIVATE PROPERTY, which they ignore anyway.
However, all I can say is, should you ever get the courage to steal a bottle of that liquour of bizarre colour and required taste, Creme de Menthe, I can assure you my dear Morgan, it does not taste like a L'Oreal hair product!!
I can see you now, under the shower, singing merrily away, between pauses, when your poor tortured family think, thank god she has stopped that awful caterwauling! Then you start up again.. problem is, they do not realize that those 'pause pregnants' are when you take yet another huge slurp out of the menthol hair product bottle!!
However, it may just be doing some good inside, cleaning out the 'sluice gates' maybe, you never know your luck!
cheers lovee.. and please, KEEP OUT of the MENS DEPARTMENT!!!
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i WILL NOT keep out of the mens department!
i know you men create 8 billion womens products to distract us, thinking we will endlessly sample every girly product until we find the right one
but there is no "right one" is there?
all the good stuff goes into the mens range!
im hip to your jive!
theres a few womens perfumes i buy but none come anywhere close to how much i love Pi and RSVP
Comment by Optomistic Opportunism
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Gotta admit, as a smoker, hearing 'menthol is for men' made me a bit quizzical. Did u ever hear the rumour that menthol cigarettes decrease your sperm count?
(Okay, rumour as in no more so than all other cigarettes)
Its nice to see you getting funky with it, but men's perfume? Smells like hard liquor to me. Call me a sissy but I do enjoy when a woman whisks past with the scent of flowers... its like your nose wakes up to the world, u know?
I should get your address so I can send you all the perfume I've accumulated over the years from sisters and girlfriends. One present I won't use.
(NB: Nivea Aqua Cool roll on deodorant - works a charm)
Comment by Morgan Bell
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yes i have heard that rumour, i dont know if its ever been validated, but ita one of those things people say all the time!
that and "groupies smoke menthol" haha
it is entirely possible that part of the attraction of mens perfume is that it does smell like hard liquor! haha
thanks for the comment!
Comment by Cheryl J
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I'm going to have to go and have a whiff of the RSVP and Pi. I'm curious now
Comment by postmoderncritic
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The few men's products I have tried just haven't appealed to me... but I will keep sniffing the new products just in case... Like Opto, I'm actually quite fond of floral perfumes. I also like the ones that smell like 'the ocean'. My current favourite is 'Revealed' by Elizabeth Arden. A few years ago I was crazy about 'Contradiction' by Calvin Klein, cause I liked the name and the smell was lovely too. "A spritz of contradiction, and I'm off," I would joke.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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oh good ive sparked your curiousity!
theres a few nice Armani ones floating around, i like the Versace range too
thanks for the suggestions!
hi epiphanie,
haha when you say "the ocean" i think of that Seinfeld episode where a perfume designer stole Kramers idea of smelling like the beach!