Morgan BellShifting Responsibility Back To The Perpetrator
October 12th 2009 13:25
Do you want a breath of fresh air from all the "blame the victim" rhetoric surrounding sexual assault of late (or of always)?
Have a read of this list. It has been doing the rounds of the Feminist blog sites. Original author unknown. If you are the mastermind who put this list together please let me know in comments, I would love to give credit where credit's due.
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime — no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
Why is a list like this important?
Because every time a footballer, performer, or hollywood director is in the news for raping a woman (or girl, or even sometimes a boy) someone inevitably tries to turn the tables and say "yeah but she was promiscuous" or "what was she doing there in the first place". Someone will bring up her character, or her clothes, or her lifestyle, or her race, or her sexual history.
None of that matters.
The people that are really in a position to stop the incidence of sexual assault are the perpetrators. They need to be accountable. They need to change their ways. And we need to stop making excuses for them.
Teach your sons and daughters about consent, respect, and personal space. When a public figure is charged with rape dont say "she must have been a slut", say "he was wrong to do that, it is unacceptable, offensive, anti-social, illegal, immoral, traumatic and harmful behaviour".
Blow the whistle on the perpetrators, its the best form of self defense.
Have a read of this list. It has been doing the rounds of the Feminist blog sites. Original author unknown. If you are the mastermind who put this list together please let me know in comments, I would love to give credit where credit's due.
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime — no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
Why is a list like this important?
Because every time a footballer, performer, or hollywood director is in the news for raping a woman (or girl, or even sometimes a boy) someone inevitably tries to turn the tables and say "yeah but she was promiscuous" or "what was she doing there in the first place". Someone will bring up her character, or her clothes, or her lifestyle, or her race, or her sexual history.
None of that matters.
The people that are really in a position to stop the incidence of sexual assault are the perpetrators. They need to be accountable. They need to change their ways. And we need to stop making excuses for them.
Teach your sons and daughters about consent, respect, and personal space. When a public figure is charged with rape dont say "she must have been a slut", say "he was wrong to do that, it is unacceptable, offensive, anti-social, illegal, immoral, traumatic and harmful behaviour".
Blow the whistle on the perpetrators, its the best form of self defense.
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Comment by Earl Leonard
Cook Focus
Earlsthoughts
I assume the list is getting kuddo's on all these feminist blogsites you mention? In which case the originator must know the respect for them is there, even if they're chosing to be anonymous (or the credit's been lost in the re-posting process somewhere),
E.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
oh yes the Feminist blog sites are loving this list, its a great play on the advice often doled out to women, those lists we have seen a thousand times: how to avoid getting your drink spiked, how to brace yourself to walk through a carpark at night
we spend so much time telling girls how to protect themselves from predators that we forget to tell our boys not to be predators in the first place
this is definately something i will be keeping and forwarding around, im glad you enjoyed it too
Comment by Wilson Pon
Health 2 Know
Adventure Toes
Techno Stuffs
boxing sound
Business Rope
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
you gotta love personal responsibility, all would-be rapists should know the onus is on them to just not do it
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Great post. And all of it is so, so true.
~Dianna
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Comment by Anonymous
This post is fantastic. Do men get blamed for being out of the house when they get bashed and robbed? No.
Do people get blamed for being on the road in their cars when some drunken moron crashes into them? No.