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Deep Pencil - the musings of Morgan Bell

 
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it did it really make a sound? If i post a blog and nobody reads it was there really any point? You have entered the random thinking space of Morgan Bell . . . These are my musings . . . things about my life written off the top of my head . . . written in an informal disjointed style almost completely devoid of punctuation, this is where i flesh out writing ideas, discuss my life, and generally be self indulgent . . . it is also the bargain bin for articles which do not fit in with the film or arts themes of my other blogs . . . so have a wander around my mind, have a laugh, have a think, be nice, and humour me!

the truth about cats and dogs . . .

July 13th 2008 07:04
anyone who owns a cat would know how dramatic they can be . . . ungrateful, temperamental, suspicious . . . i recieved this forwarded joke email the other day (original author unknown) imagining what would go into a dog or cats daily diary if they had the ability and inclination to write one . . . i couldnt have said it better myself!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer.
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!




Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.





There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.................









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Comments
17 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Cheryl J

July 13th 2008 08:30
This is one of my all time faves!

He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

So funny and for anyone that owns a cat, I fear all too true

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 13th 2008 08:55
hi Cheryl,
it a goodie hey!
this is my favourite bit:

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

the writer has obviously been around alot of cats! haha

Comment by Sara Dobson

July 13th 2008 11:41
Ha ha my mother brought me a fridge magnet once that read. The difference between cats and dogs is -
Dogs come when called, cats take a message and get back to you. So true

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 13th 2008 12:07
hi Sara,
oh that is so true!
cats have so much attitude!
they only hang out with you when THEY want to! haha

Comment by Mr Nice Guy

July 13th 2008 23:48
Always been a dog person - but I guess that's because:

wee simpal foke lyke 2 thingk at leest wee precide ova soemthink in tha aminal kingdumb.

A LOL post - but soooo true.

Where's the ball , where's the ball . . .

Stay well

Comment by Norm

July 14th 2008 04:03

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 14th 2008 04:33
hi MNG,
i still havent figured out if pets are like their owners or owners are like their pets! haha
for the longest time (a probably still to this day) i think all dogs are boys and all cats are girls! LOL
dont ask me how they breed . . .


hi Norm,
dont i even get an exclamation mark???
so little enthusiasm for furry friends keeping diaries . . .

Comment by RubySoho

July 14th 2008 07:14
That is the most pissed off looking cat I have ever seen.

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 14th 2008 07:25
hi Ruby,
well you obviously didnt see the pics i posted of cats being given baths! haha

CLICKHERE for "do cats really need baths?"

Comment by Norm

July 14th 2008 07:31
You''ll have to excuse my social skills and my emoticons.
I meant to say Sorry!

Comment by JohnDoe

July 14th 2008 07:54

Both Cats and Dogs have been part of my family at one stage or another so this gave me a knowing laugh...(Though I have always been a dog person)

Thanks Morgan

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 14th 2008 07:54
Norm,
i was just watching an episode of Seinfeld where she dumps a guy for not using an exclamation mark! haha
i thought the shocked face was quite appropriate!

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 14th 2008 07:58
hi John Doe,
ahhh a knowing laugh!
yes i think i gave it a knowing nod and smile . . . cats are completely insane . . . i know a couple who own a pug dog and he is such a happy-go-lucky animal, the complete opposite of a cat!

Comment by RubySoho

July 14th 2008 09:00
Ah Morgan, I love that episode.

She had the baby.

She had the baby!

Comment by slacko

July 15th 2008 03:16
Hahaha that is amazing, I love it

Comment by Morgan Bell

July 15th 2008 04:11
hi Ruby,
yes!
that was the episode, elaine is hilarious!


hi slacko,
its pretty cute hey?
thanks for the comment!

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