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Deep Pencil - the musings of Morgan Bell

 
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it did it really make a sound? If i post a blog and nobody reads it was there really any point? You have entered the random thinking space of Morgan Bell . . . These are my musings . . . things about my life written off the top of my head . . . written in an informal disjointed style almost completely devoid of punctuation, this is where i flesh out writing ideas, discuss my life, and generally be self indulgent . . . it is also the bargain bin for articles which do not fit in with the film or arts themes of my other blogs . . . so have a wander around my mind, have a laugh, have a think, be nice, and humour me!

Newcastle Writers Group

May 18th 2011 13:16
What have I been up to lately?

Well I joined a local creative writing group called Newcastle Writers Group, and I feel all the better for it.

I will give a little shout-out to my co-groupie Allyson Seaborn and her little fire-cracker of a blog Eat Your Heart Out Martha Stewart. If you like domestic depravity and self deprecating humour you will sure find a tale or two to tickle your fancy.

Check it out. Subscribe. Comment.

You all know the drill.

Anyway she reminded me that I have been neglecting my own little blog.


Eat Your Heart Out
Eat Your Heart Out



Here I'll play Soundgarden word association, and you can listen to some tunes.





So . . .

Eat your heart out. Bleed your heart out. There's no more rides for free. I shot my love today. Would you cry for me. Just an anchor on my heart. Dies in shyness. Light a cigarette before the execution.

Chris Cornell, still the best writer I know.

I have always wondered where that expression comes from: "eat your heart out". A quick consultation of the trusty old wiki tells us what it means:

Verb
to eat one's heart out
(idiomatic) To feel overwhelming sorrow, jealousy or longing, to grieve
.

I found this explanation of the origins of the expression on Carly Googles:

The ancients believed that sorrow and envy silently "ate away" at the heart, "each sigh draining blood from the organ." In Henry VI, Shakespeare wrote:

Might liquid tears, of heart-offending groans,
Or blood-consuming sighs recall his life,
I would be blind with weeping, sick with groans,
Look pale as primrose with blood-drinking sighs
We still say someone who is grieving is "broken-hearted."

By the beginning of the 20th century, "to eat your heart out" meant to pine, but you can yell it out as a cry of triumph if you give someone else a reason to envy you, like if you make a better ballgown as a drag queen than he ever did designing for a real lady (or a Cher).

And ending on a note of drag I do believe this is a perfectly rounded post.

From the queer glossary:

Drag: Originally used in Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre to mean DRessed As Girl (or Dress Resembling A Girl) referring to male actors who played female roles.

Ladies and gentlemen, she's back







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Come back to my room . . .

June 23rd 2009 02:58
I have been inspired by Natalina to take a few snaps of random things from my room.

To see Natalina's house CLICKHERE.

I moved in with friends somewhere around the murky borderlands of southern Newcastle and the upper Central Coast (yeah i still call it Sydney, but I think anywhere 90 minutes by car away from Oxford St can be classified as the city) and my friends are in the process of renovating.

Hence I am still living out of a packed bag and my car, with the bulk of my belongings stored in boxes in the garage.

However I can still show you my day to day stuff.

I cannot take credit for any decor or colour schemes in the background, but I am responsible for the mountains of clutter in my guest quarters.



These are my everyday shoes. I got them from Rivers for $30 on sale. They remind me of something a genie would wear. Last time I got a pedicure the lady that served me was from China and she remarked that they were very similar to the colourful styles that are popular in China.

Next to the shoes is my heat-pack for my back. Its filled with wheat and you microwave it for a couple of minutes and apply it to the area in pain to sooth it. An ex-housemate gave it to me when I lived in the city of Newcastle some years ago.



This is the most recent pair of shoes I've bought. They are the first pair of high heeled shoes I have worn in over two years. They make me look 7 foot tall.

My housemate HATES them . . . which is a big part of the reason I bought them, I just wanted to see his face because I knew he would consider them to be ugly. When I saw them I thought "he will hate them", but I liked the colour and the the general idea of a slit-front bootie, and I knew it would go down a treat at the local gay bar. Are they the boots Gwenyth Paltrow wore in that film? No they are $40 from Target



Here is two items I cannot live without. My mobile phone and my hair straightener. I bought both of them before I left Sydney. The phone has gone to shit, everything on it is broken, and because it is a Nokia it has absolutely no battery life. It will randomly switch itself of mid conversation. It really needs replacing.

The GHD will probably outlive me. I wish GHD made mobile phones.

bag


This is my Guess handbag. It is huge. I have spilled many drinks over and in that bag. It has a leopard-print lining. I want to keep that bag forever, but sadly, due to my mistreatment, it is wearing in places.

keys


These are my keys. There's a bottle opener, a keyring from where I had my labret pierced saying "Let Me Put It In For You", a crab in a little red bottle from Vanuatu, a diamante "M" (both gifts from a friend), and the green key is quite special to me as it opens the front door of a friends house who gave me an open invite to stay at a time when I was homesick for Newcastle.



Clockwise from left we have my handbag, a few DVDs including Broken Flowers, Dangerous Liaisons, Torch Song Trilogy, and a Jackie Chan box-set, some of my books (the ones that arent in storage), my pink make-up bag, medications, notebooks, and perfumes.

A friend of mine works for Perfume Connection so I have acquired many fragrances on the cheap. I also used to be an Avon lady so I have a couple of Avon perfumes that I love.

I have quite few books on writing (see HERE and HERE) and a selection of fiction I have discussed in a post before (see HERE). A few others include a Rupert Everett autobiography, books by Isaac Asimov and Erica Jong, plus Alice In Wonderland, The Devil Wears Prada, Prozac Nation, Valley Of The Dolls, The Orchid Thief, and He Died With A Felafel In His Hand.

So that ends the tour of my room. Thanks for joining me.






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My Winter Reading List

May 1st 2009 08:01
As the weather cools off I head to the bookstore.

I love buying books, however I very rarely finish them.

Ive been reading "Madame Bovary" (1857) for about 6 years, its a bit dull, I love the idea of the story but the way it is written is a little too verbose for me to concentrate on.

Ive had Angela Carter's "Nights At The Circus" (1984) on the go for about 4 years, it is an amazing novel, but I get this crazy instinct to save it for later, I dont want it to end, I want to savour every morsel and reflect on it. Her observations about gender and sexual relations are truly humbling, the lady is a master.

Ive also been reading DBC Pierre's "Vernon God Little" (2003) for the last year. My dad collects first editions of all the Booker and Pulitzaer prize winning books. He also reads most of the ones he purchases, even though i know he prefers his plot-driven espionage novels. He told me he could only read 30 pages of "Vernon God Little" and he just didnt get it. My father and I are polar opposite in taste, so I took his dislike for the book as a sign I would adore it, and I do. It is written from the perspective of a young man in the wake of a mass school shooting, but it is written as an absurd black comedy. My slow progress on this novel can also be attributed to wanting to "save some for later".

So, back to the book store to purchase more novels I wont finish.

This is what I hope to read this winter:


Jeffrey Eugenides' "Middlesex" (2002)

As recommended by Orble's CherylJ, this is a coming of age story of an intersex person. I have seen it described as a "tale of incest, of a family torn by death and rage, of a man living as a girl" . . . right up my alley!


Ian McDonald's "River Of Gods" (2004)

This is a sci-fi book set in India, the following description really piqued my interest:

Tal is a beautiful nute (neutral gender) involved in the designing team of Town & Country, who falls prey to a conspiracy that compromises the career of Shaheen Badoor Khan, Private Secretary to the Prime Minister Sajida Rana, leading to her assassination and fall of the government. All this is leading to riots and fury against Muslims and transsexuals across Varanasi.


Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's "Venus In Furs" (1870)

The writer who brought Masochism to the world - the sexual desire to have pain inflicted on oneself. It is the story of Severin and Wanda. The story that inspired Lou Reed's song "Venus In Furs" - severin, severin, ... shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather. The song was used in Gus Van Sant's film "Last Days", and the name Severin was referenced in John Cameron Mitchell's film "Shortbus".


Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" (1957)

Ayn Rand was an outspoken Atheist. This novel is her fourth, longest, and last - she considered it her fiction writing magnum opus. It is a dystopian sci-fi mystery. I actually became interested in reading this novel after seeing a scathing comment from Christopher Hitchens about her work:

... there's more morality in a novel by George Elliot ...
I care very much about literature as the place where real dilemmas, ethical dilemmas, are met and dealt with. So to have novels as transcendently awful as Atlas Shrugged and the Fountainhead, sort of undermines my project.


John Boyne's "The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas" (2006)

As recommended by Orble's Jason King, this was actually purchased by a friend of mine in Tasmania who also reads Jason's Salty Popcorn blog, she read it and posted it on to me. It has recently been made into a motion picture. It is the story of a childhood friendship during the Holocaust.





What books are you reading?

What books have you never finished?




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